This is how BOYS do it

{Ready for anything}

This. Is. Normal.

Did you know that this is how boys watch TV? They stand on the sofa, occasionally launch into a trampoline-like seat-drop, ready to do the next karate chop, with one- singlehandedly armed with the remote, ready to ward off the evil that is...a commercial break.

And that Moms & Dads, is how Boys watch TV*.

*please note: the slouched position with hands-in-pants does not come into play until televised sports enters their reality. The only exception to this is the 4th quarter or 9th inning stance (10th, 11th or 12th if watching the SF Giants) when they are perched at the edge of their seat spewing profanities.

HAIR

{I think we have EVERY fallen lock. *sniff*}

It has been 2 years and 4 months and not a hair has been snipped from our youngster's head. Beautiful, bouncy, soft, golden curls flowed from Hay Hay's head and were a popular conversation starter. Conversations like, "How old is your daughter?" "Your daughter's hair is beautiful!" "Is your daughter okay?" were commonplace. My mother's favorite conversation starter of late has been, "When are you going to cut his hair?" My response was usually, "Never. Leave me alone. Stop asking."

We always knew we were going to have to cut it at some point, but we were having a terrible time taking the leap. The hair had become such a major part of him that we felt as if somehow, he was like Samson, and that cutting off his hair would result in the loss of some sort of power...or incredible cuteness. We couldn't let Hay Hay suffer the same fate as poor Keri Russell when "Felicity" cut off her beautiful mane and caused the show to "Jump the Shark." No. Hay's series would not be cancelled.

Today, we decided that we could no longer let our selfishness drive this train. It's summer, he's hot, and constantly pushing it out of his eyes. It was time. The second part of the haircut equation, was finding a place where he would sit still long enough to not only get a haircut, but get a GOOD hair cut. The "not moving" issue trumped all others and so we opted for the kid-centered, television-zombie-making locale. Reluctantly, we ventured out the door on our quest and headed to Snip-Its.

As he sat in the chair, thankfully DIEGO played on the screen. Diego and Dora are good friends of his, so there was an instant comfort in that.  We got off to a rough start, but once we introduced more Diego, bubbles, and candy, we were well on our way. And we have to say...it turned out great.

Mommy & Daddy failed at one major thing... we didn't bring the good camera. Enjoy our cruddy cell phone shots. At least our subject is cute.

Special Guest Star: Siriously Delicious

{please note. I tried to display this cookie as large as possible. It deserves it.}

 I love marshmallows...in all forms...even peeps. Peep-lovers, I mean no disrespect. I only say it that way because most people think they are gross...I say... MORE FOR ME...well, and now Ry. The marshmallow force is strong in my young Jedi.  I can be caught year-round, nuking my peeps in the microwave to make them bigger and enjoying the burnt sugar goodness in yellow, pink, green...you get the picture.

So today I was scrolling through my RSS Feeds and had to stop and marvel at this delectable cookie. I zoomed in until it was larger than my head. It combines all that is good in the world. Check out this recipe for S'More Cookies (all the yum and no mess) and more from Siriously Delicious. She's also Siriously funny. And no, I CAN spell, her name is Siri, it's supposed be like that.

I haven't tried them yet, but a picture is worth a thousand calories.

Anatomy of a Ride Home From Swim Lessons

 

We were driving along today and I pulled up next to an SUV, like one we are considering buying for our next car. This conversation ensued...

Me: Ry, look to your left, that is one of the SUVs that Daddy wants to get.

Ry: You mean that one over there?

Me: Yes

Ry: with a hint of annoyance Why does Daddy want that car!? I want a minivan!

Me: Why?

Ry: It has a TV.

Me: An SUV can have a TV too.

Ry: But I want a sliding door.

Me: Why?

Ry: I dunno. Kate's has a TV.

Me: When will you watch TV in the car?

Ry: On long trips, or I can use my screen time on the way to school.

Me: If we get a TV it will only be used for long trips. Anyhow, Daddy would never own a minivan.

Ry: Why?

Me: Because it doesn't do what Daddy wants it to do.

Ry: What's that?

Me: Lots of things.

Ry: Well, I want a TV.

Me: We're not getting a minivan.

Ry: I'm hungry what do you have?

Me: I have a car to take us home to the refrigerator...

Ry: No Mom, what small objects do you have?

Me: A cell phone and a wallet. You want to eat that?

Ry: No....get my flip flop or I won't love you anymore.

Me: Ry, number one, I am driving, two, that was very disrespectful, I won't get you anything if you talk to me like that.

Ry: Can you get my flip flop, please?

Victory.

Another Day at Summer Camp...

{Making friends at camp. A GIANT Millipede "feels like a giant toothbrush"}

We are LOVING Summer Camp. It's bug week and there is a lot of creepy crawly fun happening daily. We pick Ry up every day soaking wet from "swimming" in the creek, shoes crusted in dirt from nature hikes, completed bug crafts (did I mention my son doesn't do crafts? He DOES at camp!) and smiling from ear to ear. Since I work for a City and am involved in Parks & Recreation, I am fortunate enough to get the inside scoop daily via texts and photos from our fantastic staff. I hear of him making silly "Scooby Doo" faces, singing the Addam's Family theme in the bathroom, and making his counselors laugh. I have recently learned that he also created a critical mass of kids sliding down the hillside into the creek - sorry about the soiled shorts Moms. He has good ideas. His preschool teacher has told me this.

And then today, there was this...

Verbatim from camp staff:

Alec: Ryder, be careful, don't run down the hill, it's steep!

Ryder: (in full sprint down the hill) I can't stop!

Ryder arrives at the bottom and Alec catches up to him. Ryder looks at Alec and says...

"now THAT'S inertia!" 

That's our Boy.

All I Need...

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook about her 3 year old daughter's need to try on a zillion outfits to then proceed to change them a billion more times. It reminded me of Ry getting ready for school. Here are his rules:

Mom, please have the grace to accept with serenity the things that I cannot change, Courage to not change the things which should be changed, And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

1. I will only wear black or navy t-shirts
2. Nothing with Jack Skellington on it (I now hate him)
3. I will only wear shorts
4. Flip flops or Crocs, I hate socks.
5. My Chinese Silk Pajama Top from Grandma Bevy is always appropriate as a jacket.
6. I will take as long as I want to do these things, no matter if we have 30 minutes or 2 minutes to do them in.

In addition to getting dressed, more often than not, he would somehow need to take something with him to school. He used to stuff a magnet into his pocket, a junky plastic toy, a puzzle piece, etc. As he has matured, it launched into a book, a transformer or a "Go Go." Said object would likely hit his cubby, only seconds after entering school, thus making the motive unclear at best. No matter what, it would command a tedious visit to the toy bin in the corner of his bedroom and some rifling around for some time, only to find that perfect "thing." There was never a real plan for which item was going to be selected, RIGHT AS WE'RE TRYING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE... as if the act of getting dressed was not enough of an arduous task. I am sure there will come a day when I miss these little quirks, but in the throws of it, you are not always thinking about how interesting or cute something is, just about how the heck you are going to get out of the house. BUT, I think we are at the tail end of this ritual.

Daddy says Ry reminds him of Steve Martin in The Jerk. "All I need"... makes us laugh every time.

Kumon....COME ON!

{...because she looks super happy.} photo by James Estrin/The New York Times

  
I just saw this article, printed in the New York Times, entitled Fast-Tracking to Kindergarten? and it made me want to cry. I was trying to picture my 2 year old, (with his arm finally freed from the fire hose hook up) sitting in Junior Kumon, in front of a work book, being yelled at to fire off answers to math problems by a cold, militant math teacher. Maybe I am exaggerating, but maybe not. I quickly shifted my mindset to my 5 year old who adds and subtracts nightly at the dinner table with Tater Tots, Dino Nuggets, Broccoli etc. It's still math...and he is doing it on his own, without me forcing the topic. 

As there is no data to support that early reading suggests increased success later in life, I have to imagine this over-tutoring in math runs an easily assumed parallel (because I am a brain surgeon). But to my point, I am NOT a brain surgeon, but a Mommy whose instincts are setting off alarms telling me that this phenomena is nuts. Parents are growing increasingly worried that their kids will fall behind this new curve- a curve they are inflating due to their own fears. People, you are perpetuating the problem...and in turn, creating worry in parents like myself who have decided to let their children grow-up in a more organic fashion.  And so the cycle continues...

You should probably put your kid back in the sandbox. They'll thank you for it later.

Here is the Article... enjoy. Fast-Tracking to Kindergarten?

An Unfortunate Day of Firsts

Originally when we set out with our camera this morning, it was to document a monumental event in our second son's life, his first train ride. Unfortunately, this was not the only first he would experience on this day.

The morning started off great. The family packed up for a late-morning jaunt to a city only a few train stops away. The kids were really excited, especially Hayden, who is a Super Fan of trains. As the train approached, we all boarded and embarked on our adventure.  

Note, for the faint of heart, nothing bad happened on the train, keep reading. Plus, I am actually writing this, so how bad could it be? Well...

{Happy Campers}

We continued on to the park.  Still fun...

We then set off for a nice leisurely lunch at Hola! on the Avenue.  Ry was resting in the stroller - that was being pushed by me, and Hay Hay had just dismounted from Daddy's shoulders. 

Unaware of potential danger, we walked past this... a fire hose hookup, with missing caps. Two small holes that someone at it's eye level, would find interesting and quite irresistible.

Daddy had just recovered from letting our little one down off of his shoulders, when I turned around and saw Hay, up to his elbow in the brass abyss.  Unfazed, we told Hayden "DON'T STICK YOUR ARM IN THERE!" We assumed he would easily slide right out.... unfortunately, what happened next was one of the most horrific moments we have had as parents to date.

{Yes, I took a photo. It only took 2 seconds. Don't judge.}

Hay pulled and pulled, and with every tug, the cries became worse. Our fears had escalated as well as those of passers by who were kind enough to call 911 and offer to help "our daughter" (hair reference). Daddy quickly realized - with limited viewing- that inside of the hose hookup was a butterfly valve. Basically, this valve is in place to regulate water flow, but if you stick an object inside - such as a small hand- with every pull, the disc will compress harder and harder on the inserted object - or small sweet fingers, in our case. 

A kind gentleman, whom we wished stuck around so we could properly thank him, was calm and supportive and helped us to trouble shoot the situation. Daddy was asking anyone in ear shot for some sort of narrow rod. A lovely manager from Banana Republic, named "J.J." was persistent in her efforts to help us and returned to our aid three times with a barrage of hangers and items to help us to push the valve back in, and free our precious toddler. Finally, a metal rod came to the rescue. Hay was free, and then, four emergency vehicles pulled up. The call probably incited a fear of a "Baby Jessica"-like situation.

Of course, words cannot express the pain we all felt in our hearts during this terrible 10 to 15 minutes of our lives. So many things went through our minds during this time. Thoughts ranged from "How do we keep Hay comfortable?" to "Why is he screaming- what is happening in  there?" to "Who the heck is responsible for this avoidable situation" to "Will they have to cut the pipe from the building?"...I can go on forever... It was a horrible test of patience and self-control, but thankfully there was no permanent damage and we went on to enjoy the rest of our day- albeit a little shaken.

I just remember the tears didn't fall from my eyes until he was free and I was able to digest what had just happened. It is unfathomable to consider what parents of children who have suffered real tragedy have endured. This small incident was enough for us.

There's Nothing Mellow About This Yellow

Yes! It's pee. In the potty. Unsolicited. All Hay Hay's!!!!!

Today you are 2 years and 49 days. We haven't felt the need to start potty training you nor put you through the rigors of Potty Boot Camp. All we did was take the potty out of the garage...wait...that wasn't us, it was your loving Nanny...but I think we told her to...right?  Anyway, it has been sitting in the bathroom for weeks. Occasionally you will sit on it before bath time, but we could care less what you do with it. Sometimes the seat comes out and gets worn on your head. Clever. Just get comfortable with it, we say.

Today was different. As we got ready for bath tonight, you decided to sit on it. You see your big brother pee all the time...it's gotta be fun, right? You sat on the potty, I told you to pee....and VOILA! If you don't do it again for another year, I won't care. I am just so proud of you today.

PS- you have 479 days to get it down - that's when you start school. No pressure. 

This is How We Do It

Many of you have asked from time to time, "Wow...how do you do it?" Well, today is your lucky day. Here is my secret...

So yes. I have a full time job. Yes, I have two kids under 6. NO, I can't cook. Yes, I do it anyway.

First you need a plan.

What more do you need to hear? Oh, that this little box of floofy sourdough breadiness, takes only 5 minutes to make! Genius. Then, make it healthy. I choose Smart Balance as opposed to butter, because it's smart. Duh.

Now, make sure the kids are planted in front of the TV. This is more for the 2 year old so he won't be loose in your home. See how happy they are? Well, one is posing for me and the other is having the life sucked out of him by Scooby Doo. He's happy. Promise.

Now, start cooking. Get the 5 minute Stove Top Stuffing going first. Here's what it looks like in case you are nervous about the directions. Yes...just BOIL the water & butter SMART Balance and let the mix sit in it off of the flame for 5 minutes. Seriously, it works! Just fluff!

Time for greens. Get some fresh broccoli and then ruin it by nuking it. I like Ziploc Steamer Bags (remember these?)

Lastly, Dino Buddies. The box says it all...YUMMY! Done in 3 minutes for 10 dinos.

Plate and serve. Make sure you have a variety of  T-Rex, Pteranodons and Brontochickens on each plate.

And if you haven't stretched yourself too thin, feed the dogs. This is just for one of our pooches. So times 2.

And that folks, is HOW YOU DO IT! Not this...