No Refunds After 90 Days

At lunch today, out of nowhere, Ryder strolls out of his room (yes, you heard me, it was lunchtime, and Ryder was not eating. Shocker.)

Ryder: Mommy, can you return babies?

Mom: what do you mean?

Ryder: Can we return a baby for another baby as cute as a baby whale?

Mom: What baby would we return? When you return something, you need to bring something back to the store before you get the new thing that you want.

Ryder: Silence.

Mom: What baby?

Ryder: Well, can we return Hayden for a baby as cute as a baby whale?

Mom: You want a baby whale?

Ryder: NO!... A.... BABY...AS...CUTE...AS...A...BABY...WHALE.

I guess I should tell him what happened at Sea World... not cute.

Naked Mole Rats

For this story, you only need to know 3 things...

1. They are a little bit rat

2. They are a little bit mole

3. They are all naked

We have read this book 5 times a day for the past 2 days. Another masterpiece by Mo Willems. Buy it. Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed.

Ry's Irish Blessing...

A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn... 

click for more lyrics 
Had no idea Shel Silverstein wrote this...makes me love it even more!

or just sit back and enjoy...

 

Ahh... one of my all time favorite Boston bar songs... I will not grace you with the hand gestures that accompany this. At least Ryder got his unicorn wish. Thank you Kate!

Brain-Hole

As I sat on the couch yesterday ignoring my children and fiddling on the laptop - writing yesterday's breathtaking blog entry- I was confronted with Ryder asking me to actually get dressed and leave the house. It was only 2pm...on a Sunday...in jammies...you see where this is going. 

Ryder: I want to go to Kate's House.

Me: Well, we can't just "go" to someone's house, we need to be invited, and we have plans later (well, way later...but what is time to a 4 year old?).

Ryder: Well... (see where he gets the "well"), I am going to get dressed and go to Kate's house.

That was when I started listening to his brain working outside of his body. His mouth became a transmitter, and I now had my material for today's blog. I decided I would just start typing, word for word, everything that spilled out of his mouth brain-hole. Please note- when you read this, remove all punctuation, then it will be verbatim.

I want to get dressed and see Kate. I want to play with her. I want to show her something she’s never done before. I want to put on the Unicorn costume and I am going to get dressed. I want to see what Kate’s house looks like inside. THEN I want to go upstairs and see what I already discovered. I don’t know…just those stuff. I want to go upstairs and look for the unicorn costume. Where’s the unicorn costume at Kate’s house, I feel like getting dressed and going to Kate’s house. Is Kate trying to put on the unicorn costume? She likes to, because she likes unicorn costumes a lot. Mommy, do you know where my clothes are, I feel like getting dressed. I don’t know how to listen, I don’t know what listening is, so I can’t listen. I don’t know any better.

*breathe* 

This reminded me of the monologue that "Sam" from "Leonardo the Terrible Monster" gives Leonardo about why he was "really" crying. Good book by your pal Mo Willems. Buy it, you'll like it. 

Creative Play Kitchens

This is sheer brilliance. The cost of a nice wooden play kitchen doesn't have to break the bank. A little creativity and elbow grease can customize an old end table into your toddler's newest imagination station!

Kindly borrowed from one of my favorite childrens blogs, Ohdeedoh...check it out!

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/inspiration/play-kitchens-for-a-cause-108955

Deep Thoughts, by Ryder...

photos by Katy Scanlan

Reflecting on my son's randomness on this rainy Sunday. Oh how I wish I had written more down... Bad Mother.

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"My head is full of wind from all of this thinking"

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In the spirit of discussing gardening at dinner...
Mary: I have a black thumb
Ryder: You have a black thumb and I have a blue toe.
(Ryder had a bruised toenail).

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Ryder put an eye patch on his head and said:
"Look at my Chanukah cap"

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Ryder: "Why does this house smell like boogers?"
Mom: because you have boogers in your nose and that's all you can smell?

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 Ryder and I got our signals crossed when discussing room decor. When asked about wanting a light on his night stand...foolish me...I was talking about a lamp...he was referring to a knight light.

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Ryder brought his piggy bank to me one day...
Ryder: Mommy, here is some money, I am going to buy an upstairs for our house at the store.
Mom: That's great Ryder, how much do you think that costs?
Ryder: 8 coins....in a row.

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Ryder's preschool teacher informed me that he learned a valuable lesson. As he ventured onto the playground in a yellow Cinderella dress and Adidas Superstars he exclaimed,
"It's hard to climb in a dress."

Monstro, the Giant Whale...

The obsession with potty humor in boys starts at a very young age, and from what I can tell in my household, never diminishes. My husband was giving Ryder a bath the other night and he was laying on his stomach with his bottom just peeking above the waterline. All of a sudden there was an eruption of sound and bubbles. As he giggled uncontrollably, my husband asked, "what was that?!?"

Ryder said, *giggle* "I'm a whale, and that was my blow hole".

You may continue on with your day...

Alex P. Keaton

He was 3 when he found his shtick. We were in Hawaii and one morning, he placed his beloved "Dog Dog" by the ear into the top of his Jammy Suit. "This is my tie." Um...okay sweetie, but let's carry it with us so not to lose the lovie (Dog Dog). Realizing that this version would become cumbersome, the tie morphed from a stuffed dog, to a cloth napkin. Since Ryder was wanting tantruming to wear them to bed...with said Jammy Suit...I needed something safe around his neck (not sure that statement really exists...but c'mon, he was 3... we bend.).

Finally, Mommy found a collection of suitable ties (thank you Anita!). The great thing about these ties from the Children's Place, is that they come in a style similar to a breakaway cat collar. If you pull hard enough, it will release... *hope*

From then on - he's now 4 - the tie has been quite the constant in his development. Sometimes it takes a month long hiatus, but it usually comes back (see "Layering"). He can easily be identified on the soccer field and we are CERTAIN, his cervical (north) adornments played a large part in getting him into his current highly coveted nursery school. Simon Cowell would have found him memorable. I guess you are never to young to have a shtick.

I love the 70s

Ahhh....like a warm cup of tea and a snuggie....I love the 70s.

Edumacation

One of the most in-your-face topics as a parent of young children in the Bay Area is education. Every day I wonder...how will I F*** up my children? Did I make the right choice? Should I have said that? Thank you Susan Engel for writing this article and confirming what many of us already know is important regarding creating environments that foster the love of learning. Get smart, read on... Playing to Learn

Layering...

I am not sure what caused this phenom in our house. The propensity for "layering" has sort of defined our son Ryder. You may think in this photo he is rocking some serious "Heidi braids" but alas, it is a winter hat from Peru (thanks Gramma Bevy). There is probably another winter hat in the mix...unseen. Daily we have outfits comprised of long sleeved shirts with short-sleeved ones above them, topped with dual button-downs and probably garnished with one of his many ties. Some kids have a dress-up bin....Ryder's closet is just fine.

In the evening, he can frequently be seen in a few *jammy suits* as he calls them, sometimes donning a tie. The maximum so far has been three, but the jury is out on the potential for more. Boy loves himself some jammy suits. The bottom layer can consist of just the long sleeved shirt/stretch pant kind, the next two are typically suits.
This morning he said to me, after Daddy & I were out last night at a wedding.."Mommy, I want to go to a wedding and wear a suit...a black suit...with 3 jammy suits and a tie." Here we go...