Friday, November 16, 2012

Dear Hostess, I Took You For Granted

I'm sad. Sooooo sad. Today Hostess Cakes Announced they were closing their doors. This is a travesty. Hostess is an Institution. Millions of children in middle America will now be without their Oscar Meyer Bologna sandwiches on Wonder Bread, slathered in Miracle Whip. Seriously though, we need a Twinkie Bail-Out!

Okay. I am very well aware that Hostess products are not the healthiest snack. And I know...I know...where have I been as a customer? Hostess, I apologize, I took you for granted. I thought you would be here forever. *sniff*

But I'm not giving up hope. The future has yet to be determined. If the company liquidates, they would also sell their intellectual property, which includes the recipes for such American delicacies as the beloved, Twinkie. Therefore, it could happen that this sugary "institution" could continue... as long as, God forbid, the buyer wouldn't try to healthy it up, I mean, that wouldn't be right.

Until then, my first thought was, "I can go buy-out the shelves of our local Targets and Safeways and keep them for decades! It would be like Hostess never least for MY lifetime." Of course my lifetime would be cut short due to the increased ingestion of Hostess Cakes, but heck...who's counting. My dreams were shattered when I unfortunately discovered that the 30 year-old Twinkie shelf-life rumor had been debunked by Party Poopers such as these. Better you know this now. You're welcome.

Anyhow, here is my homage to Hostess. These are my favorite memories of the soon-to-be Trivia Pursuit question. And for the record, the BEST Hostess product, is the corner of the Fruit Pie. The Best.

Sorry Snoopy - the Zinger Zapper is here...

I guess there's always Lil Suzie Cakes... IT'S NOT THE SAME

And... I will oh-so-miss these...(yes, I know you hate them).

And of course, the corners of these...

And this crew.

And of course, Breakfast.



  1. Jordana, I love me some fruit pies too - the BEST!

    1. I could eat a pile of corners any time and day, :-)