I FEEL LIKE THIS...

Okay. After I lose this crazy holiday face, I will return to the blogesphere. Our family blog has seemed to turn into more of a phase than a family bible. More to come! In the meantime... our newest obsession is...TOSH.0 on Comedy Central.

Tosh.0	Tuesdays 10pm / 9c
Angry Birds
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

Our Monster of Rock!

I have always secretly enjoyed a good Monster Ballad. As we were heading home from our Thanksgiving pilgrimage from El Lay Los Angeles, iPod on shuffle, an old Monster Ballad came on. Andy was completely horrified and unimpressed by my Monsters of Rock enthusiasm. I promptly explained, that although this group was not in the ranks of Poison or Def Leppard, the lead singer of Steelheart has a "metal scream" that can rival the best. As we listened to "Angel Eyes" I explained the intricacies of the musical gift of the hair band high-note. As I air-guitared and raised my fist to really send props to the climax of the song, my littlest punctuated the high-note from the back seat with a perfectly timed, "OH YES!"

Oh yes. Can I get an Amen!

ADDisneyland...

So... not that you all have been waiting with baited breath for the next installment of the Freeman Family Blog, but here is what happened....as I remember it.

In September we went to Disneyland with the boys for the first time. We were excited and ready for three days at the Happiest Place on Earth. As much as I wanted to recount this story in the blogesphere, I have found that sensory overload created writer's block and this entry has kept me from continuing our adventure in blogland. I felt like this trip HAD to be documented, but I just couldn't do it. These kids seriously provide countless content for us to write about, but this really seemed like a daunting task, so as with  most things, I just opted out- it's my new life strategy. I coined a quote a few weeks ago that summarizes this...

This quote was written when I was training for the Malibu Marathon several weeks ago. I realized I just needed to finish the race - not win- so why was I soooo stressed about how fast I was going...or if I walked...BUT...this posed to be too stressful for me at the moment...so I am not going to run it. I feel AWESOME about that! OK- back to D-Land.

Since it has now been a month, all I can give are bullets...that is how I think anyway, so it's a win-win. Let them also serve as advice for future visits.

• Pinocchio was a bad jumping-off point for Disneyland. Nothing can sour an experience like a ridiculously scary ride. Now, we were well aware that Disney was launched in the non-PC time of 1955. Pretty funny that the scariest part of the theme park is the area designed for their littlest patrons. Having visited D-Land for "work" a few years back, I was sure to not venture onto Snow White's Scary Adventures or Toad Hell Mr. Toads Wild Ride. I did not remember Pinocchio though. This ride basically soured Ryder for the remainder of the day. He clearly stated "I DON'T WANT TO GO ON ANY MORE RIDES"...crap... we had 2 and a half days to go.

• It seems that Babies like all rides...you won't know what's scary or not, unless they wear a heart monitor.  Hayden was mellow and stone-faced on almost all of the rides. The only fluctuation I felt from him was after the first "drop" on Pirates of the Caribbean and it was my hands wrapped around his upper body that allowed me to feel his heart jumping out of his chest.

• Ryder talked about the Haunted Mansion & The Tower of Terror the WHOLE TIME. This from the kid who said the Winne the Pooh ride was scary. Oh, he didn't go on it, just mentioned them in every other breath. The Haunted Mansion is also closed in mid-late September while it turns over into "A Nightmare Before Christmas" decor.
  
  
• Follow up any scary "inside-ride" with an outside ride. Autopia, rocked. Those inside rides are DARK!

• Small World three times. Ryder asked if Small World had a "Happy Ending" I said the whole thing is a Happy Ending....because of the Air Conditioning, of course.

7

• Don't do this. You will get in trouble (but we got the shot).

• Characters are scary. Ryder DID NOT want to meet anyone but Goofy. He had the most star-power for our son. We finally caught a glimpse of Goofy, and you have to stand in line (yes, a line at Disneyland) to meet these guys. When we got to the front, we were told that it was time for Goofy's smoke break lunch break. So this was as close as we got to a photo. Andy has a great pic of Goofy heading to the "break area." We thought that was the funniest part, since our imaginations of who was in the costume and what he was thinking took over...

 

Watch Fireworks from  the Magic Castle your hotel room. Honestly, this is more for the parents, but after spending $1 million dollars on Disney, this felt like my money's worth....ah...comfort!

 All in all a great trip. A lot of bribing strong encouragement to go on rides (see Pinocchio), but a magical and momentous event in our family's life. Ryder is now asking to go again...and visit the Haunted Mansion. We have an obsession currently with A Nightmare Before Christmas...a hint to what's coming for Halloween. I am thinking about honoring this request around Thanksgiving in an effort to secure myself as a finalist for MOM OF THE YEAR.

OK, I feel so much better now that I got this post out of the way. I can resume...

 

The Literal Son

Me: Ryder, I am just letting you know that when we go to Disneyland, you are going to miss the first day of school.

Ryder: Mommy, I am not going to miss it.

What's Wrong With This Picture

In my effort to try and revive my childhood, I would like to propose a game. Reminiscent of the ole Highlights Hidden Picture game, can you find the obscure object in this photo?

Hint: If you are a parent of a small child, you may not notice this, because your life is as impacted as ours.

Answer:

No, the answer is not the unmade bed.

Yes! That is a child-safety rail on OUR ADULT BED! Since Andy was out of town last weekend- meaning, I lost my anchor on the other side of the bed- and my little one was protesting his crib, I had no choice.

This photo defines last weekend perfectly.

No Love Lost

Today, I had the scare of my life. No, my kids aren't hurt...although I feel like I avoided a situation that could have reached catastrophic heights. Piggy, was missing.

We had just returned from a late morning/lunch escapade of park and taco truck, when I transferred a sleeping 17 month old to bed, only to find - or not find- Piggy. Piggy is Hayden's Lovie. 

Now Lovies come in all forms. Here are some popular bets below. If you have a child, you know the significance of this beloved item and how your parent rating can go from 10 to zero in the blink of an eye if this fuzzy piece of security were to go missing.

I found myself in a frenzy. Since I was not with Hayden when he awoke this morning, because I was not home and out having an affair at Yoga, I had no idea when said item disappeared. My husband had left on a weekend trip and was en route and unreachable (on his motorcycle- so I was worried about him...another blog entry). I called him twice, emailed the friend he was going to meet and texted the nanny. His poor friend must have thought something horrible had happened here...I said I had an emergency...and well, something catastrophic almost did happen!

After an hour of serious searching, texting and dare I say, almost shedding a tear, I had a thought...

"Hayden was playing with the kitchen trash can yesterday."

I opened the trash....and....

Sanity restored.

August Ryderisms

Wow. Here we are, at the end of August, and every day my crazy 4 1/2 year old has provided me with something überly blog-worthy, and yet alas... I have failed as a blogger. Too busy, too crazy, too sick, you name it, I have an excuse. I just haven't been able to find the time. Seeing how this serves as a journal for my family, I feel guilty and obliged at the same time to provide some current Freeman Data. Sooo...as I sit here home from work - sick - I have found the time.

Here are some noteworthy moments to pen that you may have already seen on Facebook, or not...

Tom Bush...

I got an IM at work via Google Talk (Andy & my sole means of communication during the day). It went like this:

8:10 AM Andy: Ryder told me that Tom Bush was our President a long time ago, and that he was retarded. He told me Grandma Bevy told him that.

8:11 AM Great....

 me: "retarded?

 

 Andy: Yes, very clearly....retarded.

 me: killing her

8:12 AM Andy: I told him that is a very mean thing to say and that some people are different and they can't help it. At least I clarified and told him that his name was George Bush!  So, of course I call Grandma. Her response? She said she told him that George Bush didn't like brocolli, and that he was RETIRED. Apparently, Ryder formed a new opinion of Tom George. 

YOGA

I am loving that Ryder has adopted my love for Yoga. I have given him his own mat and now he has all he needs to refine his practice. He is definitely an up-and-coming Yogi, creating pose after pose of his own. Here is an example of that...

 Me: Ryder it's time for your bath.
Ry: I need to do some yoga.
Me: no Ryder, now.
Ry: Mommy, I am going to do my poses, now leave me alone.

Me: What is that called?

Ry: Dustmite Protection Pose

 

It's a Pillow, it's a Pet....

Dear TV. You have successfully infiltrated  my son's brain with guerrilla marketing. My son, post Sesame Street -by the blink of an eye- imprisoned and brainwashed by the Pillow Pet Commercial.

Thankfully, our good friends recently put Ryder out of his misery by purchasing him his beloved Bumble Bee Pillow Pet. We received it actually as a gift for Andy's 40th birthday, a gift that would define Andy as the "Best Dad Ever." Andy decided it would be best to sneak it into Ryder's bed late at night. Here is what he said when he awoke:

Ry: "Look at my pillow pet! I wished for it and it came true!"

Me: Can you show me how it attaches?

Ry: You attach the hook and the strap made of high quality chenille fabric.

Thanks, he's a walking infomercial.

Yip Yip

Once again I am faced with doing what is right vs. doing what is easy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO SCREEN TIME for children under 2 (or Google it and find articles like this). I find this virtually impossible in my home when my 4 1/2 year old watches TV. How the heck am I supposed to shield the other from the giant glowing window (does that what Hayden thinks it is?) hanging on the wall? AND, even more so,  how am I to make dinner at 5:30pm without knowing that my children are somewhat contained on the sofa? 

Ryder has had a re-appreciation for Sesame Street, which I have to say pleases me to no end. It has to be better than Phineas and Ferb for the baby. At least someone has deemed this show educational. Of course I am now not only freaked out about my zombie 15 month old zoning out on some Big Bird Elmo bonanza, but to add to my neurosis, the show advisory information on my Tivo says for ages 3+. Oye Vey. But again, apparently not worried enough to turn it off…cuz it’s EASY (like saying cuz). Plus, I get to enjoy the oldies but goodies that I had the benefit of being entertained by when I was little. Glad to see the Alien Family is still Yip Yipping their way through Sesame Street. “Brrring! Yip Yip Phone.”

And by the way, how come everyone can see Snuffleupagus now? I liked it better when big bird was deemed slightly crazy. And yes, I did wiki the spelling of Snuffy’s given name…I was way off.

Can you see him? I can. Crazy? I think not.

More than Meets the Eye...

Mommy: Ryder, what are you doing?

Ryder: I'm a Transformer

Mommy: Can you show your face for a picture?

Ryder: Mommy, Transformers don't smile.

L

"Mommy, which is my left hand again?"

"Ryder, hold both hands up and make an L. The one that faces the correct way, is your left."

"I like my left hand because it starts with the letter L, and so does ladybug....and I like ladybugs."

"Me too, Ryder."

"Mommy, I love you pimples and bits."